I would be the best prime minister.
I’m really good at making promises and then not keeping them. I know how to make people think the world is changing while the constant oppression continues in a similar but different format.
I’m really good at saying sorry and then not doing anything. I know precisely how to answer questions about the issues in a way that simply restates the question.
I know how to make people feel bad about criticizing me by using versatile words like ‘Un-Australian’ and ‘unpatriotic’. I know how to pretend to be a million different things to appeal to everyone while secretly hating them all.
I can backstab, lie and order soldiers to a war the people who elected me don’t believe in. I know how to make it seem like I advocate peace when I withdraw from one conflict that everyone knows about, all the while sending troops to a country I’ve never been to or had any relations with.
I can kiss any nations ass and call it diplomacy. I can call soldiers peacekeepers and have them approved by a international body that’s sole duty is to uphold peace.
I can swear and try to make it seem accidental and Australian, both encouraging it’s practice and improving my standing in the polls.
I’m also really good at making sure the two main parties of the government will always been at one another’s throat.
I can make myself appear young by comparing myself to older, more experienced opponents.
In fact, I can do absolutely nothing.
Vote for me. You’ve done it a million times before.
Quote of the Post!
‘Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons’
Bertrand Russel
