ITS CATURDAY!

Ahoy there all you thousands tens of readers out there!

How be ye all this fine caturday?

I havent blogged in a while, thanks to work, my sexy new iMac, my Wii, my DSi, PopTarts, Dr Pepper and Peanut Butter M&M’s…. but whats the point in making excuses?

My holidays have been relaxing, spending a whole 4 days gallavanting around with my bitches and hoes, internetting, having my mum tell me she got Britney Spears tickets!!!!!! :O LIKE REALLY GOOD ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  fuck im excited bring on November!!!

So on the agenda for next term, I have to do assignments early due to a hullabaloozah of events – My birthday, then the day after school camp, then a few days later I’ll be in New Zealand! Exciting much?!?! Anyway, On to the main part of tonights post…

 Tonight I bring you the wonders of 4Chan. As I am writing this, good ol’ /b/ is loading up in a background tab and I am going to include the most interesting stuff I find

Wish me luck!

*good luck!*

 

at first, i was all: 

Then i realised its a giant fucking turtle penis. i think… im still nto quite sure what the fuck it is.

next up a common 4chan game, you laugh you lose:

people just post random lolz and try not to laugh.

like so:

i lol’d

again :

 

hehe.

I’ll now end with some cute and some wtf

till next time!

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

X3

and finally, wtf

I Would Be The Best Prime Minister

I would be the best prime minister.

I’m really good at making promises and then not keeping them. I know how to make people think the world is changing while the constant oppression continues in a similar but different format.

I’m really good at saying sorry and then not doing anything. I know precisely how to answer questions about the issues in a way that simply restates the question.

I know how to make people feel bad about criticizing me by using versatile words like ‘Un-Australian’ and ‘unpatriotic’. I know how to pretend to be a million different things to appeal to everyone while secretly hating them all.

I can backstab, lie and order soldiers to a war the people who elected me don’t believe in. I know how to make it seem like I advocate peace when I withdraw from one conflict that everyone knows about, all the while sending troops to a country I’ve never been to or had any relations with.

I can kiss any nations ass and call it diplomacy. I can call soldiers peacekeepers and have them approved by a international body that’s sole duty is to uphold peace.

I can swear and try to make it seem accidental and Australian, both encouraging it’s practice and improving my standing in the polls.

I’m also really good at making sure the two main parties of the government will always been at one another’s throat.

I can make myself appear young by comparing myself to older, more experienced opponents.

In fact, I can do absolutely nothing.

Vote for me. You’ve done it a million times before.

Quote of the Post!

‘Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons’

Bertrand Russel

Breathe, Dammit!

We need to revive this glorious dying child.

Ok, well… I’ve been home sick for the last 3 days…

And over this time, I have watched a movie every day.

Tuesday – Sin City
Wednesday – The Fifth Element
Thursday – Children of Men

My favorite was definitely “Children of Men”. It was just so… Gah, fucking good.
There is no other way to put it. There was a shot in the movie that went for about 6 minutes… It was fucking insane.

The worst was “The Fifth Element”. Apart from the Space Chick and Chris Tucker being a metrosexual radio presenter… It was fucking lame.

And “Sin City” is just fucking badass.

Also, a disturbing discovery… The Fifth Element starred Bruce Willis. Children of Men starred Clive Owen. And Sin City Starred Clive Owen & Bruce Willis.

Conspiracy?!
Of course it is.

Now, readers… Tell me who you think the most attractive out of Clive Owen and Bruce Willis.
Honestly? I would have a fucking Threesome with them.

OH! And because we do quotes and shit now…
“Oh, yes. You see, you’re one of the morons I’ve been fighting my whole life. My whole fucking life. But guess what… Today, I win.”
-Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich), Burn After Reading (2008)

Jakes Facebook.

WELL HI YA’ll

Jake Duyvestyn’s Profile

Create your badge

Anaconda-da-da-da-da…..

So today I am off to anaconda as they are dumping forty tonnes of snow in the carpark. I know right? Wtffff???? Shall be fun…
In other news, free dress day was successful, with every second person asking in a footy meat voice, “why are you wearing a pirate hat?? Uhhhh footy…” and myself replying multiple times, “why are you not wearing a pirate hat?” and then, “cuz I’m not gay, footyyyy!!!!! *showers with other players and slaps other players arses*” so yes, overall the free dress day lived up to the hype.
Well as I am currently watching rage and good music is on, I shall leave you and dance. Till next time!

*copies jon*

“it’s okay to have a little puff or a little prick or a bit of this stuff” (Father Dave)

There’s a Turbo?

According to WordPress, there’s a Turbo way to blog. My curiousity peaked, I’ve decided to investigate. Turns out…

WordPress TURBO! ALLOWS FASTER PAGE LOAD TIMES SO I KEEP BLOGGING WITH THE BEST OF THEM!

Live it. Write it. Blog it. WordPress Turbo.

———-

Me and Tom decided today that school would be unbeneficial to our healthy social life. So we fucked off! ^_^

Unfortunately, I only realized my mum was home when I was standing in the center of the house and she was interrogating me in a manner similar to one seen in The Dark Knight. I convinced her I was after homework, grabbed Tom (who was hiding around the street corner because he seems to always know where my mum is) and headed to his place. Tom managed to disable all of the security devices surrounding his house, including the Decepiticons and the Tomb of Horus, both of which involved reading from the forgotten language of Yevanic.

Once inside, Tom saw fit to tell me his Dad says he comes home around twelve. Cue the paranoia.

BUT

His Dad didn’t come home, I watched Fight Club, we chillaxed a bunch, I started and finished my RE and sent it to the teacher in a hour and we fucked around on the internet (and the bed )

POSSIBLY THE BEST DAY EVER?!

‘It is a miracle that curiousity survives formal education’

Albert Einstein

On Thinking and Thoughts

Thinking is a curious thing.

This isn’t basic, one answer-only thinking like you would have on a test, but the type of thinking you have when there are multiple, perhaps infinite answers to a subjective question. In other words, a question with a different answer for each person. It’s not a ‘How’ question, but a Why’, and requires a emotional response. We face these questions when sudden changes come to our social lives, such as moving or relationships, and our decisions regarding them can potentially change our character and perhaps the very way we see the world.

What’s more interesting, however, is how we think about these thoughts.

Some people prefer to ignore them until inspiration hits them. Intense exercise or various, menial routines attempt to occupy their mind. Some read, trying to cram other thoughts in there. But the two most common outlets for thinking are simple and universal: walking and music.

Music is simply listening to music, writing music, playing music. It’s an emotional part of the human brain and often when we listen to these soogs, or concentrate on it’s notes, that we become more aware of our situation and (in danger  of sounding like a chick) feelings. This is usually the preferred way of thinking for most people.

I, like many others, prefer walking. It isn’t the physical exercise that does it, it’s getting away from physical attachments. From family. From friends. Running away from the world with just yourself and your thoughts. You let your feet lead you and, without anything to worry about, you can do some of the best soul searching. Whats more, you can think about anything you do before making a rash decision. Walks allow reasonable and true-to-yourself responses.

Of course, you could just tell someone all your thoughts and your exact situation. This can help as you can unburden yourself. But you have to be catious: the decision, if it’s as deeply emotional as I’ve suggested, has to be made by you alone. Tell someone you can trust, who can withhold their own opinion.

Whatever way you think your thoughts, ultimately the decision has to be made. For better or worse.

————

On lighter news, I’ve decided to start putting quotes at the bottom of posts. Pretty spiffy.

Also, went to the Great Moscow Circus. It’s fucking awesome, guys. You’ve got chicks lifting themselves off the ground with their teeth, crazy motorbike guys, a magic show I was almost believing and some amazing acrobatics. The whole atmosphere was just incredible. Go buy tickets. Now. You will not regret it.

‘I am what I am,
I don’t want praise, I don’t want pity.‘
I Am What I Am, La Cage aux Folles

Microsoft’s Future Home

http://✩.ws/microsoftfuturehome

two words:

HOLY

SHIT!

forget the view of the future, this shit is real!!!!!!

Back by unpopular demand.

I’m sick of fucking WORKING for my money.

Only if I had a compromise with Woolworths like… I don’t burn every single franchise down in Townsville, and in exchange for that generous offer… I get paid $200 – $300 weekly?

Sounds fair.

OR
Have a revolution and make Australia a communist nation.
Then we won’t even need fucking checkouts.
And I win.

Communism people, it’s the only choice.

Windows sevannnnn!!!

ZOMG windows seven RC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That means it’s nearly finished!!!

Also, someone else needs to post already. I’m lookin at you jon*, I’m lookin at you.

Edit: fixed jon, I’m so sorry, it was the autocorrect on my iPod
I know it’s jon…

I blame apple.